


With The Click Of A Button

by BigSestra



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Season 5/Episode 8, Spoilers, expanding on a scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:55:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28879827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigSestra/pseuds/BigSestra
Summary: Lives are forever changed with the click of a button. How do Cosima and Delphine deal with their emotions as the reality of that situation settles in? This my version of a continuation of a scene that occurs in Season 5/Episode 8, Guillotines Decide.
Relationships: Delphine Cormier/Cosima Niehaus
Comments: 5
Kudos: 33





	1. A Light In The Darkness

“This is it? This is everything?”

There is guarded hope in Cosima’s voice and, though I know the content of every last document that is flashing across the screen in front of us, I can barely believe it myself. Siobhan’s final play has secured everything the authorities will need to trace Neolution’s financial bribes from their sources outward and, with the click of a button, months of work to save Cosima and her sisters will see its culmination.

“Yeah.” My reply is soft, my enthusiasm muted by the heaviness of uncertainty. For not the first time, I wonder if this specific act will finally allow us to be free, to feel joy unencumbered by fear.

“Loaded and ready to send to all the regulatory and oversight committees in the affected countries, as well as to old journalist friends of Siobhan at the Guardian.”

I look at Cosima briefly and feel the corners of my mouth bow upward despite my nervousness. She turns her head a little and the light catches the trail of a tear rolling down her right cheek. To see her cry makes something grow tight in my chest, and my smile fades as quickly as it had appeared.

“You guys did all this for us,” Cosima says at a near whisper. She sniffs and shakes her head, and the uncertainty fades from her eyes. I believe that it is finally settling in, what we are about to do.

My fingers tighten around hers. “You ready?”

My love’s answer comes in a deep inhale, the straightening of her spine. The light that sparks in her gaze isn’t from the glare of the screen, but from something within her. Cosima seems ready to take this bold step, but I wonder if she feels any fear in this moment, like I do. No. I suspect she’s been the stronger of us all along.

I ease my hand from Cosima’s to reach for the laptop and find it enfolded in both of hers almost immediately. “Just a sec,” she says over an exhale.

I watch her gaze move over the screen again and wish I knew if she’s just seeing the documents displayed there, or if her mind has turned to all the past sacrifices and hurts they represent. Or does she see the future there? A future for us? As if she’d heard my thoughts, her face turns toward mine and she smiles.

Cosima releases a long sigh and her hand moves to rest atop my own, her index finger stretching out over the length of mine. She moves both as one and, when we press the button together, the silence in the room is broken by a ping. The screen displays a congratulatory message that casts light across her face. Her hand folds around mine again and then she smiles, laughs. The sound of it is beautiful and I can't help but to join in.

I glance at the screen again for a few seconds and then return my attention to Cosima, resting my cheek against my arm. I would be content to watch happiness bloom over her face for the rest of the evening. But then something changes. Her joyous expression crumples and her eyes squeeze shut. She lowers her head and all but hides her face from me as she begins to cry in earnest. The glee that had been fluttering in my stomach twists into concern in an instant. My heart breaks.

“Hey…” I wrap my arm around her shoulders to pull her tighter against me as her sobs overtake her. “Hey.”

Cosima’s hand slides from my grasp, but she does not pull away from me. I rest my hand on top of her head when she drops her face into the circle of her arms and her dreads are soft against my fingertips. I try to ground myself in the familiar sensation, seeking anything I can use to steady myself in this sudden storm of emotions. Cosima leans into the press of my lips against her temple. I feel her shaking hand cover mine, and I reach up with the other to slide over hers in kind. There’s nothing to do but hold on.

Her cries tear at me and, in a cruel flash of memories, I’m reminded that this is far from the first time I’ve had to bear this sound. Cosima has frustrated me, put me on the defensive countless times, hurt and scared me. I have seen her at her most vulnerable before, but the fight within her had always remained. She has never broken in front of me like this and I feel helpless as she curls in on herself, deeper into my embrace, sobbing and trembling. I hate that this is how the first moment of freedom feels to her, like a sun too bright and too warm for one accustomed to darkness for so long.

As if adjusting to that light, Cosima’s sobs eventually yield to quieter cries and she unfurls her body to loop her arm around my waist and lean more heavily into me. Her head lolls to the side to rest on my shoulder and I press my cheek to her hair. Whispers spill from my lips, assurances that I’m here, that it will be alright. That I love her so much. I can’t immediately name the other emotions tangled up within me right now, but am certain regret isn’t one of them. Not anymore.

It wasn’t long ago at all that I returned from Geneva and came to this place directly from the airport, not wanting another minute to pass before I told Cosima everything I had kept from her, save this one last confidence revealed tonight. To know that I hold her now with no secrets or resentment between us brings me a small measure of peace, as does the knowledge that- while there will undoubtedly be heartbreak in our future- it won’t come at the hand of Dyad, Neolution, or any other part of the cabal we’ve just brought crashing down.

That first gift of peace breeds more of the same and, as Cosima grows more relaxed against me, I am filled with gratitude that I am able to be here with her, for her. It’s far too easy to imagine how close I’d come to losing her forever, either to my untimely end or hers. I am struck by a mix of relief and awe that my love’s sobs did not dissolve into coughing tonight. There is no rattling in her lungs, no blood on her lips or struggle to draw the next breath. Tears come to my eyes as I realize that, in this moment, Cosima is more healthy and alive than I have ever known her.

“Delphine?”

The whisper of my name draws me from my thoughts and I lift my head to offer her a warm smile. “Ma chérie?”

Cosima sits up straight and gently pulls her arm from around me. She takes her glasses off with one hand and scrubs the other over her eyes with a wince. “I’m so tired.” Her voice is raspy, but her tone is firm. There is no shudder of lingering tears, and something loosens from around my heart.

I kiss her warm cheek and resist the temptation to trail my lips down to hers. “Then let’s go to bed,” I breathe into her ear and then rest my head against hers. A second later, I feel her nod.

Reaching in front of us, I close the laptop and am relieved when the sharp light from its screen disappears and dims the room to a warm glow. Cosima places her glasses atop the machine and pushes it away before gracefully rising to her feet. As soon as I am standing fully myself, she steps into me, wraps her arms around my waist, and rests her head on my shoulder with her face turned into my neck.

My arms fold around her as well, one hand gently scratching through the baby-soft hair at the nape of her neck while the other rubs soothing circles on her back. Rather than relaxing into me again, Cosima tenses within my grasp and raises her head so she can look me in the eye.

“I’m okay,” she says. I know she is- if only just -and let go of her with some reluctance. After all her tears, I understand that she needs to remind herself of her own resolve, and likely needs to show me as well.

I kiss her forehead. “Why don’t you go get ready for bed while I get everything set in here.” My suggestion is met only with another nod and the hint of a smile before she moves around me to head into the bathroom.

Minutes pass, long enough for me to have put the laptop away and place Cosima’s glasses where she usually sets them for the night. The bed has been turned down and the lights dimmed. I’ve stripped down to just my underwear and will be ready for bed myself once I’ve washed my face and put on the shirt I left in the bathroom this morning. An unexpected chuckle comes along with a wave of love when Cosima steps back into the room wearing said shirt.

Given the pajama top is baggy on me, it’s adorably huge on her. The bottom hem falls below her underwear and the sleeves would cover her hands entirely if not for the fact that she holds the extra fabric in loose fists. A tempting amount of skin is left exposed by the scooped neckline and her upper chest flushes pink when she catches me looking at her as I am.

Cosima eases onto the side of the bed and folds her legs beneath her as she watches me dig into my bag for a t-shirt to wear in place of the one she’s stolen. Not wanting to put it on until after I’ve washed my face, I playfully whip it at Cosima’s knee as I walk by her, and my mood lightens at the sound of her soft laughter.

The room is dark when I return, save for the moonlight coming through the small, high windows across the room. The blue-white glow casts over the tables and equipment in the lab beyond, throwing hard-edged shadows across the concrete floor. As if it has crossed an invisible barrier, the glare softens in the bedroom. The frosted glass panels flanking the open doorway diffuse the light, which further loses its brightness in a room made cozy with worn area rugs and a mishmash of vintage furniture pieces strewn here and there with textiles woven in jewel tones.

The covers on my side of the bed are still pulled back and, as I draw them up, I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. The sheets hold the spiciness of Cosima’s citrus and clove soap and a hint of my French perfume, the scent of us. I can feel the heat radiating from her body, and I’ve barely settled when Cosima moves closer and tilts her face to mine for a kiss.

The press of our lips together doesn’t stoke the heat of desire, but conjures tenderness instead. This simple contact tethers me to an intimacy that reaches far deeper than the physical plane, something that feels like it can last forever. I hope it does, but the ever present fear that we will be pulled apart yet again lingers, and the need to hold Cosima closer overwhelms me. Gently, I thread my left leg between hers and drape my arm around her waist.

Either understanding my need or feeling it herself, Cosima slips one arm beneath my head to cradle it while the one pressed between us rests against my chest. She traces random patterns over my heart with her fingertips as she presses her face into the side of my neck. I fall asleep with her breath, warm and comforting, against my skin.


	2. Dawn Of A New Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cosima's point of view, the morning after

I wake up in much the same way as I fell asleep, curled up on my side with my limbs tangled loosely with Delphine’s. Content to stay wrapped up like this just a little longer, I study her in the light of the dawning day. Her pink lips are parted slightly and her breaths come in the soft and steady cadence of sleep. Loose ringlets of her hair spread over the pillow and frame her face like a golden halo. God, how unfair is it that she’s this beautiful without even trying? And how lucky am I that she’s here with me?

Memories of last night stir within my mind and the weight of what Delphine and the others did for us sestras begins to settle in. I bite back a wince. It’s too much to think about, too early to even start processing any of it, so I encourage my thoughts to wander back to where they were.

The concert tee Delphine’s wearing is old as shit, ‘vintage’ I guess, and has faded from black to an uneven dark grey. The fabric is lighter at the seams, where years of pressure and friction have left it almost gauzelike in places. The shirt is almost as soft as her skin, smells almost as good. I softly trace a fingertip over the cracked and faded lettering across the front. A smile turns up the corners of my mouth as I think back to her singing one of the band's songs in the shower yesterday.

' _Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick  
The one that makes me scream' she said  
'The one that makes me laugh' she said  
And threw her arms around my neck_

“You’re humming.” Delphine’s words come in a sleepy rasp. “I love that song,” she mutters, pulling me closer.

“Sorry.” But I’m not, not completely. The only thing better than sleeping in the same bed with Delphine is being awake with her there.

She kisses my forehead. “Have you been awake long?”

I shake my head and hook a finger beneath Delphine’s chin, using it to draw her closer as I tilt my face up to briefly take her mouth with mine.

Delphine brushes the backs of her fingers down my cheek, turns her hand to run her thumb across my bottom lip. “Do you want to talk about last night?” she asks quietly.

I sigh. “I’d like to know all the details, eventually. Just not right now, okay?”

“Okay.” Her smile tells me it really is.

I reach up to push one of her curls off her face, my fingers lingering against her cheek for a minute. “I do want to say thank you, though. For last night and everything leading up to it.” I swallow thickly, fighting back a swell of emotion. “You saved my life, Delphine. Like, more than once now,” I add, my voice soft.

“You found your own cure, Cosima.”

“Kinda… I mean, yeah. But not without a lot of help along the way, and more of that came from you than anyone else. And because of the information we released last night, me and the other sestras have a real chance to _live_ instead of just surviving, y’know?”

Delphine’s hand lowers, finds mine trapped between us. Her links our fingers, then pulls away. She brushes her fingertips over my knuckles, follows one of the lines that runs across my palm. My hand moves with hers, almost dancelike. It’s become a habit that is usually comforting and calming, so I’m immediately aware when her body tenses.

“I have one more trip to make.” Delphine inhales deeply, and I’m not sure if she’s buying herself time to find the right words to continue on, or readying herself to counter whatever it is I have to say in response.

I rein in the instinct to assume the worst. I mentally dismiss the part of me that is so quick to question her motives… again. Defensiveness makes my teeth grit, causes my breaths to come a little faster, and I can’t even say why. In this silent war with myself, I must have given the impression that I was just listening. Delphine takes it as a cue to continue on.

“I need to get some affairs in order there. I have some belongings I’d like to pack and ship, many more to donate or sell.” She pauses. A smile brightens her expression, but there is uncertainty in her eyes. “I’m planning on getting the process underway to get dual citizenship.”

I can feel myself blink in surprise. “Is that what you want? To live here in Toronto?”

Delphine’s uncertainty now overshadows her smile. “Or Minnesota, so you can finish school there. San Francisco, if you’d rather.” Her fingers thread with mine and grow still. “I think it’s something we should talk about.”

“I think Felix might have interrupted that very conversation last night. Maybe you should pick up where we left off.” I tilt my head and offer a flirtatious grin. “Sooo… what do you want to do, with our freedom?”

“I want to work with you to find and cure the other Ledas, no matter where we have to go or how long it takes,” Delphine answers almost immediately. “I promised I’d love all of your sisters and, in a way, I do. I want to help them.”

I inhale shakily and nod. “Totally, me too.” My voice is thick with emotion, and I kind of hate that.

Delphine continues on. “I want more of this.” Her hand tightens around mine. “More time with you, more falling asleep and waking beside you, no matter where we are.” She smiles at me, and her eyes are so full of affection that I swear I can feel it like a physical warmth.

“Okay,” I reply lamely. I am just about to lose it and can’t come up with anything better to say. Unwanted tears well in my eyes and, when one escapes, Delphine leans forward to kiss it away.

Her face remains close, and I can feel the brush of her lips against mine when she speaks again. “More than anything, I want to see what comes of our life together, and to discover just how many reasons there are for me to love you.”

“What- integrity, intellect and humor aren’t enough?” I ask. My tone is light, but I can’t be more serious. Is it enough? Am I enough?

“Oh cherie, you’re already more than I knew to wish for.”

Our lips meet again and we pull one another closer. My body comes alive at her touch and my heart sings with hope. A whole new future dawns with this day, and I can’t wait to explore it with Delphine. But, for now, everything I could possibly want or need is right here in my arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene I began this story with is one of many in the show when I wanted the focus to remain on Cosima and Delphine. I often felt like there was so much more depth to their moments together than the cameras allowed us to see. 
> 
> If these two muses keep cooperating, I’d like this story to be the first in a series of stories that are a continuation of Cophine moments after the cameras have cut away. While I have a list of scenes I’d like to do this with, I would love to hear from you readers! What moments between Cosima and Delphine left you wanting to see more?
> 
> As always, my goal is to evolve and improve as a writer, so feedback and constructive criticism is always welcome. Thanks so much for reading!


End file.
